I know the good outweighed the bad in what I have done or failed to do. For me, I choose to remember the good times I had before my life became a choas with no freedom. I wonder what I did to get everything taken away from me, to go broke in Canada? I wonder what my Dad would think of this country. I know in my heart I didn't deserve the injustice I have faced in Canada. Anyone with any sense of decency would know it. When you are truly loved people do not coerce and frighten you, they do not use your loving nature against you, then say it was a joke, they do not refuse to speak to you then call all new places of employment to tell them they were hoping for friendship with their golden boy. You say no to someone's friends and your life becomes a living hell. Years and years of men being defended on top of it by women who should respect others boundaries or making my life hell because they waited for men who may not be interested in them, women willing to have affairs and think it's romantic, telling everyone that I don't know how long she waited. I would tell her: Honey it's really none of my business you can have him I don't want your man but you don't have the courage to meet me all you do is gossip and spoil my career and life. Those who doubt me I would say, judge your own life. Have your affairs, knowing it's wrong. But don't take it out on me. Sure do wish I had my Dad around. There's no security without that strong love to protect you. When it's a small business community it's worse. It's insidious. It's my Father's name. Do you really expect me to let it go?
I love that this YouTube video was published Oct 7. It's the last day I had my Papa, my Dad's Dad around.